| Citation |
BNL.759.007
3 May 1759:21,22 (3009)
Know there are words, & spells, which can controll
Between the fits, this feaver of the soul:--
Will cure the arran'st puppy of his pride.
Be furious, envious, stethful, mad or drunk,
Slave to a wife, or vassal to a punk,
A switz, a High Dutch, or Low Dutch bear:
All that we ask is but a patient ear.
[signed] Author of the Dunciad.
To Philo-Metros, the Doggrelist, and , the Poetaster, &c, of
Boston. Egregious Philo--
Seeing you have so publickly, and dogmatically, assumed the
beloved character of The Poetaster, as,
'Not knowing ways enough to be undone,
'Without the help of poetry for one;
and as, "You have bray'd aloud in too lirical
"terms the A-- r, to unvail the myster
"of Drawcansir; and seeing you have so pub-
"lickly promised to hid your pen forever, (your
"pen, so given to doggrelism,) and will cease to
"be any longer the poetaster"--provided, the
"a--r will in meekness unvail and explain to
"you, the full sense and meaning of the word or
"name, Drawcansir ":
I now therefore, in great compassion to your weakness,
ignorance and illiterateness (tho' you are a poetaster) and
in sure and certain hopes of your improvement and amendment,
(if it is possible for a poetaster to repent and amend )
undertake to inform you, and in "great meekness, unraved
and explain the meaning of Drawcansir."
But, egregious Philo ! -- I must intreat you for your own
sake, to prove worse upon the explication that he waxed, who
underwent the discipline of Solomon's mortar: For as like a
Mavius, you have often scribbled in full despight of
Appollo, and the sacred nine, you must well remember, that
"He hath hateth reproof is bruitish; " and that, nothing
"Blackens like the ink of fools."
But, to the point in hand,
Be it known to you then, O conspicuous doggrelist,
O Philo-Metros ! that there have been many, year very
many, fools, blockheads, dunces,, poetasters, and
doggrelists in days of yore, or former times, who often did,
and often would attempt to write and scribble,
"In spight of reason, nature, art, and wit" . . . [ ]
and flourished at an Aerg, when doggrelists, poetasters and
scribblers greatly [ ] to the astonishment of all men of
sense and sound learning -- and finding the silly dunces in
his [ ], were hardened and incorrigible; he published a
well-known & celebrated farce, called the Rehearsal; in
which farce, he ridiculed and exposed to full view, the
dunces and poetasters then in play. There have been above
thirty editions of the abovementioned rehearsal. In this
farce, or Rehearsal, a fool and madman is with great skill,
wit and judgment, drawn or pictured in the character of
Drawcansir: And in him, (I speak in meekness,) O Philo !
You, your own dear self, may fully set your own image and
picture at full length, highly finished, and not strait
forget it, as if you saw it only in a common mirror, or
looking-glass. The Perusal of which farce, or Rehearsal, I
do in great sincerity recommend unto you, for your
instruction in Doggrelism and scribbling.
Thus, in great meekness, O thou doggrelist, thou Poetaster,
thou Philo-Metros-! have I " unvailed and explained unto
you, the mistery " (so deeply hidden from so egregious a
poetaster and doggrelist in the work, or naive, Drawcansir.
Be now therefore, as good as your work, and " Hide, for ever
hide your pen; as being fully convinced that the great
author of the Dunciad wrote one good line when he wrote,
" That smarting soundly might convince a fool."
And fasten a string of thy own doggrel to thy pen, fly
away to the river let be and fling it in, down it will sink
immediately and no more be seen or heard of the Smedly in
the Dunciad. Lap for thy life, fiercely lap of the waters
of Letbe, and cool thy tongue--Then with an uplifted eye
(after repeating the following lines, ) curse Doggrelism,
and be -- what you ought to be:
'With Agypts art thy pen may strive:
'One potent drop, let this but shed,
'And [ ] -- that stunk alive,
'Becomes a precious mummy dead '
I subscribe my self, what Philo-Metros assumed to stile
me,
[signed] "The Auctioneer."
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